One of the most frustrating aspects of life with chronic illness is the constant state of flux. It is true of all types of multiple sclerosis, and relapsing/remitting MS certainly lives up to the name.

The fact that many of these on-again off-again symptoms are invisible to observers makes it a particularly difficult series of emotional adjustments, especially if you are prone to worry about what other people think.

It’s hard to be taken seriously when people see you looking the very picture of health one day and claiming to be the opposite the next. It probably doesn’t help their perceptions when we go to great lengths to hide the truth.

We hear a lot about maintaining a positive attitude in the face of adversity, and most of us work at keeping our complaints to a minimum and putting on our best face for all the world to see. Most of the time this works in our own favor, but occasionally the challenges of life with chronic illness loom so large as to become overwhelming.

Since receiving the diagnosis of relapsing/remitting MS in early 2004 I have, for the most part, managed to have more positive days than not. The not-so-positive days have been largely hidden from view, revealed only to a few friends and the closest of family members. Let’s face it, nobody wants to be considered a complainer.

I don’t want to be seen in a negative light, but as a positive person who lends kinship and support to others through my writing on the subject of MS and chronic illness. On the other hand, the bad days we all experience cannot be avoided. Addressing them openly and honestly doesn’t make me a negative person; it makes me human.

That was my thought process recently when I tentatively posted brief snippets about my latest MS relapse on Facebook and Twitter. Not complaints and not written in anger, they were instead brief and honest snapshots from a life altered by MS.

The response took me by surprise. Friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers sent me emails of support and understanding. Those who also live with MS or other chronic illness were, of course, able to see beyond the few words I’d written — I had struck a nerve. As far as I could tell, no one saw it as complaining or that I was passing on negativity. It was taken for nothing more than the truth that it was.

I have no less faith in the power of a positive outlook on life, but more faith in the people around me to accept the hard truth once in awhile. I’m not saying that anyone needs a play-by-play of our lives any more than we need one of theirs. What and how much of ourselves we choose to share is very much a matter of personal preference.

In a previous article on the topic of positive thinking, I wrote, “I wonder if, by keeping my bad moments private, I have contributed to the pressure to keep up appearances and if by putting my best face forward, I’ve given the impression that I’m always full of sunshine and roses… let it be known now… I have moments when no matter how hard I try, I cannot fight the frustration. So I acknowledge it, deal with it, and purge it. It’s not particularly pleasant, so I generally get myself back on track rather quickly. It is what it is.”

I would like to add something more to that statement: There is no need to keep these feelings to yourself. It is possible to share the bad as well as the good and to do it without wallowing or complaining. It is simply stating the facts of life. If they can’t handle it, that’s not your problem, but people just might surprise you.

Writer Ann Pietrangelo embraces the concept of personal responsibility for health and wellness. As a person living with multiple sclerosis, she combines a healthy lifestyle and education with modern medicine, and seeks to provide information and support to others. She is a regular contributor to Care2.com’s Reform Health Policy blog in Causes. Follow on Twitter @AnnPietrangelo.

Most of our work happiness comes from our relationship with ourselves. For example, I recently started working on  a proposal for a non-profit human services organization. As I’m reading and putting all the research together, roughing out each section and making it all coherent, I hit walls that stall my progress.

Last week I actually flopped into my recliner, let out a loud groan and sputtered out in frustration. Why did I do this?  I hadn’t written a proposal like this in several months. It was no good. I didn’t have the handle on it I wanted. It wasn’t flowing. Fortunately, my boyfriend was home and he listened to my self-deprecating rant and cajoled me back into life with a few hugs, a popsicle, and a couple of well-timed  jokes. My creativity was zapped by my own thoughts of inadequacy, fear, and anger. The person from whom I needed the most encouragement was myself, and I was being ugly.

I took a look at the internal problems I was having and how they were affecting my work. By addressing a few weaknesses, I discovered how I can use them to work for me instead of against me.

1. One Project At A Time

Almost always, I have several things that I am trying to do at once. I could be writing an email, in discussion with someone in an instant message client while I am thinking about an upcoming task or project.  The distraction puts a strain on my attention and ultimately affects the quality of my work no matter how good I think I might be at multitasking.

From a long line of procrastinators, if I’m not forced to produce I don’t . Often my attention darts from thought to thought and thing to thing because there’s no deadline looming over my head like a black cloud of angst. So when I need to focus, I’ve started setting a timer. A little tension can be good when it brings focus to a person’s life.

Depending on the task, I may set the timer for 30 minutes and try to finish the task within that time frame. If the timer dings and I need more time, I reset it for the appropriate amount of time and go back to work. This allows me to focus on this one task without letting all the other “musts” distract me.

2. Break The Project Down

The length of my list on any given day would give even Gina Tranpani pause. I expect too much and never feel like I’ve gotten anything done.

Instead of getting lots done, there are times when my brain just shuts down in response to my overwhelming list. I needed to figure out a way to reduce those negative thoughts. I have tried bullying and forcing myself  but it never works. I only feel worse and do even less.

I’ve created a routine that allows me to handle my work load. When I realize that I have overextended my task list, I stand up, breathe deep, and let the air out with a slow breath. Then, I get comfortable at my desk and whittle my first big task into 20 minute spurts. As the project becomes less unwieldy, I find I’ve let go of the negative thoughts and boosted my confidence.I’m in the moment and enjoying the process. I’m not feeling overwhelmed by a mountain of work and I’m feeling good about my progress and the quality of work I am putting out.

3. Split Your Tasks List

I usually feel overwhelmed as a result of my own expectations. I expect to get too much work done. I’ve never been able to accomplish a massive task in one day. So when my task list gets too big I often split it into two lists.

I create a main list that’s simple to complete. If I have four hours for work, I make the list equal to about two hours. Typically these are the tasks and projects that need my attention first during the day. The second list is the extras list. This list contains the less time sensitive issues and tasks that require my attention that day.

Whenever I get to my extras list, I feel really good about my what I’ve been able to complete. Anything on the extras list that doesn’t get done today, is prioritized and put on tomorrow’s main list. Guidance and sense of accomplishment is the main reason for a list, so make your list achievable. And don’t forget to roll those unfinished extras items over to your main tasks list for the following day!

4. Take a Break

I can get stalled because I get tired and can’t focus on what is right before me. There are too many options. If I have to write an email, create a blog post, and work on a newsletter then I start to feel over-anxious and foggy. My overwhelmed brain simply wants to shut down. So I  usually get up and take a break to clear my head and let things simmer.

Since I work from home, there always some mindless household task that needs to be done. If negative thoughts are mucking up my progress, I take out the trash. If worry is hounding me, I do the dishes and think about those worries running down the drain with the soapy water. Maybe I’ll pop over to some favorite blogs that have nothing to do with work for some laughter and gratitude.  If the weather is okay, I might sit out on the backs steps and listen to the birds and watch my dog snore in the grass for awhile.  Almost always after one of these breaks, I come back renewed and refreshed; my creativity is moving again.

There are so many ways we can pull ourselves out of a stressful state if we just take a break and let go of what’s bugging us.

5. Check Out The Positive

Like many of us, I get preoccupied in how the present moment makes me feel. I create mountains out of molehills. I can create a torturous thought process by magnifying the bad things that are happening to me instead of focusing on all the good things that are there if I just take the time to see them.

If I’m feeling particularly ugly about a project, I write down of all the things that I’m learning from the project in my Good Things journal. I keep this by my desk and whenever I am gloomy about work, I haul it out and take a peek.

Big projects and unexpected demands on my time almost always push me outside of my comfort zone. By meeting these challenges as they come, with as positive an attitude as I can muster, I can  manage stress properly, compose clearer, better emails, and continue to develop more meaningful working relationships with my clients and bosses.

The bonus is I am getting paid to learn these lessons. That’s a gift.

By working at shifting my perspective to the positive, I’m better able to let go of my negative thinking more quickly and realign myself with the good things in and around me.

What do you do to stay happy during a stressful project or day?